


MOONLIT BEACH CONVERSATION

by ksstarfire



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Love, M/M, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:58:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8714830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksstarfire/pseuds/ksstarfire
Summary: A late-night conversation on the beach.





	

Starsky woke up in the early morning hours, alone in the bed. He called Hutch’s name. When he didn’t get an answer he got up, put on his robe and walked through the house to the family room. He thought Hutch might have gone there to play his guitar or watch TV.

Hutch wasn’t there so he looked out the sliding glass doors to the beach. At first he didn’t see him. Then he spotted him over by the rock jetty. He had on tan cords and a tan t-shirt. It was the bright full moon shining on his blond hair which enabled him to see Hutch.

He opened the door and started to call out to his lover, but something in Hutch’s posture made him hesitate. Starsky walked toward him instead. When he was about five feet away he saw Hutch was crying. Hurrying the last few steps, he slid to his knees beside him.

“Hutch? Babe, what’s wrong?” He reached out a hand and cupped Hutch’s face and turned it toward him. The utter devastation in Hutch’s face made his heart stutter. “What? Tell me what’s wrong?”

Hutch just looked at Starsky, then closed his eyes.

“You’re scaring me. Are you sick? Hurt? Talk to me… please?” Starsky reached out and wrapped his arms around Hutch and pulled him as close as he could. He rubbed his hand up and down Hutch’s back. “Talk to me.”

“I… I’m sorry Starsk. I’m so sorry,” Hutch tucked his head against Starsky’s neck and hugged him as tightly as he could. He whispered, “I’m just so sorry.”

“Sorry for what Hutch? Why are you apologizing? What for?” Starsky was beginning to panic. What could make his usually strong partner break down like this? He pushed Hutch back a little ways so he could see his face. “Tell me. Please?”

Hutch wiped his face and tried to get himself under control. When he felt like he could speak he said, “I have to leave you.”

“WHAT? WHY? Don’t be talking crazy, Hutch. Why do you have to leave me? Don’t you love me anymore? Is there… is there someone else?” Starsky felt like crying now. He couldn’t figure out what was going on. Why was Hutch saying he needed to leave?

“No. There will never be anyone but you in my heart, Starsk.” Hutch leaned in and kissed Starsky on his lips.

“Then why, Hutch?” Starsky pleaded for an answer.

Hutch looked at him with such sadness in his eyes. “Do you remember that five year old boy from the store this morning? When his dad was shot, you took him into your arms, and comforted him.” Hutch hesitated then continued. “He looked so… right… in your arms. And your face glowed.

“You deserve that, Starsk. You deserve to have kids. A son. A daughter. Kids to love and spoil. Kids to fulfill your life. And a w…w…wife to give you those children. I can’t be selfish and keep you away from that life.

“I can’t do that for you. I can’t give you that gift.” Hutch turned his face back toward the ocean. He had stopped crying, but his shoulders were slumped and he looked utterly defeated.

Starsky sat there trying to think of what to reply. He was stunned that Hutch loved him so strongly, he would be willing to walk away, to give Starsky what Hutch thought he wanted or needed.

“Hutch?

“Hutch, look at me.” Starsky waited for Hutch to look at him. “Yes, Hutch, it felt good to hold that young boy and make him feel better. And I won’t lie, for a few seconds I wondered how I would feel if I had a child of my own.” Starsky looked straight into Hutch’s eyes. “But to have that child of my own, with someone else, I would have to give up the desire of my heart.”

Hutch looked back into Starsky’s eyes.

“I would have to give up you.” Starsky put his arms more firmly around Hutch. “I hold everything I need, everything I love, in my arms right now. My heart is full of you.”

Hutch closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Starsky’s.

“I love you, Hutch. I don’t need anything or anyone to make my heart full… but you.” He kissed Hutch softly. He scattered light, barely-there kisses across Hutch’s face. “If we decide we need children, we could always look into adoption. But my life is full to over-flowing with just you in it.”

“Oh, Starsk. That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.” Hutch gave Starsky a long, deep kiss. He pulled back and smiled. A full smile, that lit up his face.

Starsky let the tension flow out of him. He melted against his lover and luxuriated in having Hutch in his arms.

They sat there, arms around each other, and watched the moon reflecting on the ocean. They were comfortable enough with each other that they didn’t need to talk to heal their bond.

“Hutch?”

“Yeah?”

“If there’s a next time, please, just tell me?”

“Won’t be a next time, Starsk. Just the thought of leaving you this time almost killed me.”

“Good to know. Now, can we go back to bed?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that, Hutch?”

“That you let me love you. To show you how much you mean to me.”

“You love me, then I’ll love you, then we’ll start all over.”

“We have to work tomorrow, Starsk. Dobey will be…”

“Let’s worry about Dobey in the morning, when I call and tell him you caught a chill by being outside tonight.”

“And you have to stay with me because?”

“To keep you warm… of course.”

“Silly me. Of course.”


End file.
